There’s No “Oui” In Team – Team 97’s Andrew Parker

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

Andrew Parkèr’s change in location has meant a change in attitude

There’s No “Oui” In Team – Andrew Parkèr Speaks Out

April 23, 2012
Team 97’s Andrew Parkèr’s decision last year to relocate from the golf-rich lands of North Carolina to the remote French countryside didn’t surprise anyone. The most successful Team 97 player has consistently flown under the radar on the golf course, so the move to the quiet surroundings of Provence made sense to everyone. Case in point: you would never know the unassuming Team 97 member had accumulated the most wins in PAC history (17) and had won a Jeffrey J. Eaton MVP Award (2010).

Since there has been little to no contact with Parkèr since he left America, including no reporting on his 2012 PAC preparation, Golf Digest sent Skip Honeycut to meet him at his chalet outside of Provence, France, to find out what he has been up to over the past year. Just back from an afternoon bicycle ride and putting together a puzzle over a quiet picnic, Parkèr met us in his Phi Alpha Cup Champions Member jacket, smoking a long cigarette and sipping a 1982 Bordeaux. We were interested to find out that Parkèr had not only undergone a drastic change in location, but that his French surroundings had rubbed off on him and caused a noticeable change in attitude as well. In this intriguing interview, Parkèr reveals a new, Franco-rude demeanor that has us wondering which Andrew Parkèr will show up on America’s shores for the 2012 Cup.

Golf Digest: It’s really beautiful here. And I see you are successfully combining American and French culture with your Phi Alpha Cup jacket and your French Bordeaux.

Parkèr: Are these the reason you sit me down? To talk about these beautiful clothes and my fine vintage? Please, tell me now these things you wish to discuss.

Golf Digest: Well, for starters, we wanted to come here to see how your new surroundings and lifestyle have affected your preparation for this year’s Phi Alpha Cup.

Parkèr: This is my preparation (holding up his wine glass). Every year I prepare, yes? Every year I win the most. These American players on my team? They put beignets (doughnuts, ie zeros) on the scoreboard. It is me that makes le win. Let me assure you, there is no ‘oui’ in Team 97.

Golf Digest: You are suggesting that you have been carrying Team 97 in past years.

Parkèr: I have carried Team 97; I will continue to carry them; I am the only one who can carry them. I do not understand your language very well, but I think that should cover it, yes?

Golf Digest: I believe the verb tenses are the same as they were during the 35-plus years you’ve lived in America.

Parkèr: I think the best way to answer this question you ask, Yankee, is with a sonnet I recently composed:

I’ve got shot variety in a wide array
J’ai des bonbons pour vour manger
My fans all scream, “oui oui, c’est vrai”
Cause I’ve got a mulligan in my bidet

Golf Digest: So has the crafting of poetry left any time for golf?

Parkèr: Poetry is like a fine wine. And golf is a dance on the street of life. Don’t you agree, Monsieur?

Golf Digest: Um.. Yeah. But let’s get back on track here. It seems you have gone through quite a metamorphosis, especially in your attitude toward your own team members.

Parkèr: As we say here, my unrefined friend, “Chacun pour soi.” Every one for himself. This is the way it has always been. You like my clothes, oui? They are beautiful.

Golf Digest: Some of your results certainly back up your claim of being the singular force on Team 97 – You are the only player in PAC history to have an undefeated Singles record for instance. Is this due to your dominance when you are not paired with another team member, or does it speak more to your normal opponent, Stirling Bomar, and his deficiency in pressure matches?

Parkèr: Oui. You ask me about Monsieur Bomar. Le Chicken you call this man. I do not like chicken. It is crude and does not agree with me. So I do the same thing with Monsieur Bomar on the golf course that I do when some American puts a Kentucky Fried drumstick in front of me. I dismiss it, and I move on. And now, I must do the same with you. Au revoir.